Evil scientists have the best chili fries
by Zofie C. Field
Summary: An afternoon in the cafeteria in which Delphine is gloomy, giggling, gloomy, and then giggling again.


_Note_: These science ladies are not mine.

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**Evil scientists have the best chili fries **

Delphine sat alone in a deserted corner of the Dyad cafeteria, absent-mindedly stirring a cold cup of coffee. She hadn't seen Cosima since leaving her in Leekie's care this morning, and the worry was eating away at her (and preventing her from eating her lunch). If she's had her way, she would have stolen off to some far country with her dreadlocked girl. But a blood-soaked tissue had put an end to that.

"Hi."

The breath across her ear startled Delphine, who jumped, nearly spilling her coffee. She grinned up at the welcome sight, relieved. "Cosima!"

"I totally had you pegged for a popular table girl in the cafeteria. Yet here you are," gesturing to the otherwise abandoned table. She plopped down, sliding a lunch tray, laden with a salad and fries, onto the table and slinging her bag across an empty chair.

"Mmm, top secret projects are not good for making friends," replied Delphine.

"Good thing I'm here now. We'll be mobbed with new friends momentarily. People always love me."

Her joking confidence made Delphine smile.

"Though," Cosima continued incredulously, "I told my neutron walks into a bar joke in the elevator this morning and no one laughed. How is that possible? It's a classic."

Delphine shook her head, smiling at the thought of Cosima terrorizing antisocial scientists in an enclosed space. "People here can be too smart for their own good. Too smart to laugh in elevators. Tell me your joke and I'll laugh."

Cosima winked and raised her hands into prime joke-telling position, but was distracted by a silver-haired group passing by before the words made it out of her mouth.

"Delphine! There are Freaky Leekies everywhere! I feel left out." Her excitement was contagious. "Maybe I'll get tongues implanted on the ends of my dreads! I could be like Medusa. It would be awesome."

Delphine covered her face to stifle her laughter. "Allison would disown you! And Sarah would probably shave your head while you sleep."

Laughing and shaking her head, Cosima teased, "And you could get an extra thumb or eyes in the back of your head. We'd be the perfect couple!" This triggered another peal of laughter.

She waited until Delphine quieted, and then continued seriously. "But all joking aside, Delphine. They may have absolutely no code of ethics here, but it's a pretty awesome facility. They have every kind of microscope you could dream. Everything is pristine and state of the art. It's like..." She paused for a moment, searching, then her face lit up. "It's like walking into an episode of Dexter's Laboratory!"

She looked to Delphine, but Delphine just shook her head. "Dexter? What department is he in?"

"Oh boy, you poor sheltered French child. Well, I know what we're going to do tonight. Same thing we do every night, Pinky." Delphine raised a confused eyebrow.

"Still no? This is worse than I thought."

Delphine tried to respond but Cosima cut her off, veering onto a tangent.

"Oh! And I think I met someone from your secret circle on the way here! I bumped into him in the hallway and he nearly choked on his coffee. His eyes were totally bugging out of his head, like I was a ghost." She mimed this with her hands enthusiastically. "I should have invited him to lunch to really freak him out."

Delphine smiled, but the expression didn't reach her eyes. The air got heavy.

"Delphine!" Cosima kicked her under the table. "Stop looking at me like I'm going to keel over or get snatched by some masked madman any minute!"

Delphine dropped her head to the table, hiding her face in her folded arms. Her words were muffled but the worry was clear enough. "Oh Cosima! What were we thinking? You shouldn't be here. You're like the lamb walking right into the lion's cave!"

"Hey," said Cosima firmly, nudging Delphine's elbow. "Hey." She nudged again. Delphine slowly raised her head.

"First, it's _den_._ Lion's den_. And second, I may be the lamb in this situation, but I am no ordinary fluffball. Your hairless captain has seriously underestimated me." She paused and then continued pointedly, "and so have you." Her expression was serious and she held's Delphine's gaze for a long moment.

Finally her face softened and she leaned in until their faces were only a few inches apart.

She whispered, their eyes still locked, "And third..."

They leaned closer, and Delphine's gaze dropped to her lips.

"Evil scientists have the best chili fries!" Cosima gleefully brandished a greasy handful towards Delphine's parted lips, and for a moment, gravity was lifted.

The end.


End file.
